There’s a wonderful article over at Wired magazine, detailing how a generation who grew up with computer gaming (in all its forms; lo, where has the arcade gone?) now has to deal with challenges of parenting (and being The Parent) in an age where gaming is fairly ubiquitous.
I think the obvious answer to many dilemmas are obvious: engage your children in age appropriate discussions about the games they’re playing; ensure that they understand the distinction between reality and fantasy; and lastly, be aware of what they’re actually playing.
The trickier thing, of course, will be to Walk the Walk when it comes to gaming’s siren’s call.
Will I be able to counsel my children about the important divide between work and play — while making sure I’m not shirking my own household duties to play a little extra Marvel Alliance?
Could I honestly ask my son to limit his time on the PC or gaming console, when I’ve had marathon Halo sessions myself — at the expense of other responsibilities?
I don’t really want to get into a discussion about how addictive gaming is, because I know that its not a theory. For me, its a fact. A deliciously awesome fact that my childhood memories are saturated with.
And yet, I wonder if my own ambiguity towards the issue has less to do with video games, and more to do with the anxiety of appearing human and vulnerable to your children.
I guess I’ll let you know as things develop. I have a little bit of time, after all, as my son is only six months old right now. Not much, but a little bit. ;)
6 Comments
Tony, first off congrats. I’ve got a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. Being a dad is amazing (and hard work) – as I’m sure you already know.
What I’ve learned is that I need to be human for my kids. They need to see that I laugh, cry, hurt, make mistakes and spend too much time on my computer – and that it’s all okay. The thing my wife and I have learned is that kids just need to know that whatever they’re feeling, wanting, going through, scared of, mad about – that it’s okay. That doesn’t mean they get to act from feelings any way they like. But we do make the feelings okay for them.
Be human, man. Let your kids know that you make mistakes or love video games. They’ll love you no less.
Tony, there’s a wonderful song by Claudio Baglioni (Italy) to his son. It translates roughly: “a son always loves his father and he does so while he judges him and almost never forgives him. Until he discovers the sign of a tear and for the first time he sees a person…”
So to what Dawud says, I respond: they’ll love you more if they see the real you.
Valeria, nice. Kids don’t ask us to be perfect. They ask us to be consistent, loving compassionate and honest. If we can be those things as parents, our kids will great, rich lives and will grow to be beautiful adults.
This isn’t sappy or wishful thinking. It’s just true.
Dawud,
Thanks for your thoughts. “Be human, man” … well, I’m nothing but “human”, and I think hiding it from my son (and other future children) won’t do anything but hurt my credibility. Besides, it would be a fairly impossible thing for me to do anyway. ;)
t @ dji
Valeria — what a beautiful quote. And something to remember. ;)
t @ dji
Thanks Tony. I don’t doubt you one bit. I just know that our kids will always see who we are through our actions and not through what we say. Sounds like you’re on it.